On The Lighter Side ....

 My blog's been way to serious lately so to inject a little humor ....

An amusing look at what "God" really thinks. When the book comes out, give it to any Fundies you know. :-D.

Hear that Chris! You're getting a copy!

The Last Testament of God and God's Twitter feed

In Honor of BoobQuake

My Boobies - Censored ;-)

Event initiated by Blag Hag

Interview with Cupid

Happy Valentines Day?

It's Mine!

Hysterical kitty cat video!

Happy Valentine's Day

The following was sent to me by a friend. Great Valentine's video :). Thanks!!

My Video Response :)

Firefly fans. Find out which Serenity character you are :)

Are you a Firefly Fan? Find out which Serenity character you are :)

Click here to take the "Which Serenity character are you?" quiz...

My results: You are Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)

You are good at fixing things. You are usually cheerful. You appreciate being treated with delicacy and specialness.

Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)		90%
Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)		80%
Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)		75%
Inara Serra (Companion)		70%
River (Stowaway)		65%
Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic)		60%
Derrial Book (Shepherd)		45%
Wash (Ship Pilot)		35%
Jayne Cobb (Mercenary)		30%
Alliance		30%
A Reaver (Cannibal)		0%

Battle at Kruger

If you like wildlife shows you'll love this. So much for the predators lol.

What's up?

                                     Err ... right, Brain!
                                     Narf!
                                         \
                                          \
                                      _            ____ 
     Quiet, Pinky; I'm pondering.    | \\  l\\l_ //    | 
            _              _         |  \\/ `/  `.|    | 
          /~\\   \        //~\       | Y |   |   ||  Y |
          |  \\   \      //  |       |  \|   |   |\ /  |   
          [   ||        ||   ]       \   |  o|o  | >  /   
         ] Y  ||        ||  Y [       \___\_--_ /_/__/
         |  \_|l,------.l|_/  |       /.-\(____) /--.\
         |   >'          `<   |       `--(______)----'
         \  (/~`--____--'~\)  /           U// U / \
          `-_>-__________-<_-'            / \  / /|
              /(_#(__)#_)\               ( .) / / ]
              \___/__\___/                `.`' /   [
               /__`--'__\                  |`-'    |
            /\(__,>-~~ __)                 |       |__
         /\//\\(  `--~~ )                 _l       |--:.
         '\/  <^\      /^>               |  `   (  <   \\
              _\ >-__-< /_             ,-\  ,-~~->. \   `:.___,/
             (___\    /___)           (____/    (____)    `---'


by Sean Gugler  

Jokes

I've been writing some heavy duty serious topical blogs lately ... so have decided to take a break and move into the inane ;) ... ergo ... my last two blogs and this one. Located a very funny page with Techy Jokes ... well ... funny to Techy's anyway ... well ... I think they're funny ... hope you do too. Enjoy :).

Techy Light Bulb Jokes

• Q. How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  A. None. Thats a hardware problem.
  A. One, but if he changes it, the whole building will probably fall down.
  A. Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.
• 
  
• Q. How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?
  A. None. That's a software problem.
  A. None. They just have marketing portray the dead bulb as a feature.
• 
  
• Q. How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
  A. 472. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle...
• 
  
• Q. How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
  A. We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.
• 
  
• Q. How many MIS guys does it take to change a light bulb?
  A. MIS has received your request concerning your hardware problem, and has assigned your request Service Number 39712. Please use this number for any future reference to this light bulb issue. As soon as a technician becomes available, you will be contacted.
• 
  
• Q. How many WordPerfect support technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
  A. We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Ok. Now, exactly how dark is it? Ok, there could be four or five things wrong . . . have you tried the light switch?
• 
  
• Q. How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
  A. Three: two holding the ladder and one to screw the bulb into a tap.
• 
  
• Q. How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
  A. Eight: one to work the bulb and seven to make sure Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.
• Q. How many testers does it take to change a light bulb?
  A. We just noticed the room was dark; we don't actually fix the problems.
• 
  
• Q. How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?
  A. The light bulb works fine on the system in my office . . .
• 
  
• Q. How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
  A. You're still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so all you'd have to do is send a light bulb change message.
• 
  
• Q. How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
  A. None, Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(tm) as the new industry standard.
• 
  
• Q. How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?
  A. Three: One to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
• 
  
• Q. How many [IBM] Technical Writers does it take to change a light bulb?
  A. 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20% of the definitions are of the form "A:...... consists of sequences of non-blank characters separated by blanks".
  A. Just one, provided there's an engineer around to explain how to do it.

On A Lighter Note

I love May in Toronto.

The last vestiges of Winter are being wiped out. The sunshine and warmth in the air heralds the promise of dresses, sandals, patios, long walks, and all the other wonderful outdoor things I associate with a Toronto summer.

A lot of us hibernate here in the winter time except for those into winter sports, and I'm not exactly the sporty type :).

I had my first Dairy Queen Blizzard of the season ... something I should be avoiding since I'm trying to lose weight ... but hey ... I was celebrating.

I watch the motorcyclists with envy this year. I was re-introduced to biking in the last couple of years, after many years. The last time I was on a bike previously was when I was 16. In the last couple of years I dated 2 men who had bikes and didn't mind me riding on the back! So much fun. However, they've moved on, and I'm envying those with their own.

Since I'm currently only periodically employed as a software developer contractor, I'll have to wait to implement my dream of getting my own bike and learning to ride it ... sigh ... .

Anyone out there want to offer me a permanent, full-time job as a software developer?

:)

Google's New TiSP Beta

To those of you who have taken advantage of Google's very generous TiSP offer but are having trouble installing your systems, help is available!

Just go to: Google TiSP Discussion and the wisdom of the tech masses is at your fingertips.

Great advice and suggestions to get you through your installation troubles!

Check it out if you haven't got it: Google TiSP

Special features available for the deaf: Deaf Base TiSP

Video presentation on installing the system is available here:
http://www.zentation.com/viewer/index.php?passcode=628180

The following suggestion from "illuminus" was quite helpful in getting my system running but has worsened my dropped packets problem.

"You have to use the eXtended Length Ansynchronous Transfer, (or
X.L.A.X.), to stream packet heavy data. I get a little bit of gurgling
with VOIP, but for torrents I'm getting lots of seeds from my peers.
Bandwidth caps out at about 1 Gpp / sec. "

Any suggestions?

With new technology comes new challenges so I've developed BactVirScanner (to sterilize the data stream) and GFlush Drive to store solid datapackets. Available free for download on request ;).

Don't you just love Google? ;) Too funny!

"tispster"

One more Installation Video

Bollywood, Bollywhat? and hiding behind trees

I listen to Q107s Derringer In The Morning. An entertaining way to start the day. John Derringer, the host, recently asked the question, Why does everyone hide behind trees in Bollywood movies? Well, JD, since inquiring Canadian minds are asking, I decided to do a little research to see if anyone else had explored this probing issue. A determined stint on Google yielded no results! Not even Bollywhat?, a definitive guide to clueless fans of Hindi films (like me) could provide me with an answer. So, my contribution to the wealth of knowledge on the Internet today is to provide the answer :).

JD, hiding behind trees in Bollywood movies is Indian movie sex, it's as simple as that ;). India banned kissing in movies in the 1950s. (**See correction below) So ... everytime, a potential romantic kissing scene is apropos, the music starts, and the guy starts chasing the girl as she hides behind trees to escape his kiss. They're usually magically transported to some romantic location in the mountains of Kashmir where, not surprisingly, trees are aplenty. Ironically, it's okay to depict men and women, naked and groping each other, under a blanket, in bed (I've seen this in Bollywood movies), but don't let them kiss or the film will be banned ;).

During a brief review of the Bollywhat? site I did happen to discover that inquiring Indian minds are asking the question, Do orchestras routinely hide behind trees, or inside walls, or by the sides of freeways in Hollywood movies? (find the answer on the Bollywhat? Hollywood FAQ). Enjoy ;)

**CORRECTION. Kissing is no longer banned, however, it's still excluded by producers because it could result in a Restricted rating from India's very tough censorship board. This would effectively ban the movie because going to movies is a family affair and no-one would go. see Bollywhat? Why don't the characters ever KISS already?

Kitties

This is the funniest thing I've seen in a while!! lol