Friday, April 27, 2007

How To Prevent People From Becoming or Creating Shooters

I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist, and therefore not qualified to diagnose anyone's situation or give anyone advice. I can only speak from my own experience and tell you how I handle things, rightly or wrongly.

I'd also like to point out that I'm not talking about the everyday type of harassment which is short-lived or low-key and there is no serious malicious intent. A lot people go through that, and both the harasser and the harassed get over it and move on. The vast majority of bullies are like that, all you have to do is stand up to them and it's over.

I'm talking about serious and malicious harassment which is long term and/or intense and seriously intended to hurt the person who is being targeted.

To those people being harassed, adults and children alike, I understand your frustration. I hear you and feel what you feel.

How do you cope with malicious harassment without shooting people?

You need to understand the following:

1. The people who instigate malicious harassment campaigns are bullies, cowards, insecure and disturbed people.
2. The people who go along with them are just plain stupid.
3. If you shoot them, or try to get revenge by doing the same things they are doing to you, they win, every lie they've told about you becomes truth. They walk away looking like saints; a lot of innocent people have died who did nothing to you and may have been the type of people who could have been your friends; and you're either dead or in jail. You pay the price for what they did!

The best revenge against people like this is:

1. Be your own person, you are not who they make you out to be. They are the liars. Their hatred towards you is not about you, it's about them and their own failings as human beings. They are people who cannot feel good about themselves unless they are making others feel bad about themselves. Don't give them that pleasure. There is nothing wrong with you and a whole lot wrong with them ... and they know it.
2. Live your own life, don't make your life about them. They're not worth it ... and that's what they want. Do the things that you enjoy and take pleasure from that. Make your life about doing the things that you want to do, the things that you enjoy, and about achieving your own successes in life. Make a contribution despite these people. Always remain positive. Tomorrow is a new day.
3. Your success, is their loss, every lie they've told about you gets exposed.

I agree, it's tough, because day in and day out you are forced to face what they are doing to you because they won't leave you alone.

If they do something illegal against you, and you can prove it, go to the police. If you can't prove it, report it to others, family members and friends. Make sure others know what's going on. Take steps to protect yourself.

How you react is the critical factor. Remember, they are psychopaths and they get pleasure from your pain. Where you can, don't react, walk away, and just keep doing what you were planning to do that day. Not reacting let's them know that they don't matter to you and what they are doing matters even less.

Always stand up for other people facing the same type of harassment, particularly from the same people. Stick together and you might be able to build a legal case against them. Document everything. Parents can do this for their children when the children are being bullied. Schools are obligated by law to protect your children while under their care. File law suits if the school doesn't act and pressure Parent Groups to demand School Boards put zero tolerance policies in place. Employees should do the same with their employers (how many work place shootings have we had!) and demand legislation be put in place to protect employees from this. Citizens should insist that their municipalities face the same requirements.

The Goal: a world where harassment is illegal and a criminal offense.

In Canada, our Charter of Rights states: "12. Everyone has the right not to be subjected to any cruel and unusual treatment ... ."

In my opinion, harassment of individuals by bullies/psychopaths meets the criteria of "cruel and unusual treatment". Law Suits can also be filed on defamation of character, slander, on whatever illegal activities have occurred (and they always do because people who do this are essentially criminals whether they are children or adults), etc.

Perhaps harassed people should consider filing Charter complaints....

Let others know that you think people who behave this way are beneath contempt, ridiculous, and not worth your time, and that you are considering a law suit. They are cowards and threat of legal action scares the hell out them because they don't want everyone to know what they are doing and what losers they are.

If you are going to fight back, fight back for Justice not Revenge!

It's a harder battle to fight but you have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Your persecutor, on the other hand, has everything to lose.

To those of you who see this occurring? Stop turning a blind eye and justifying it by saying it's not your problem. Take a stand against the harassment and the harassers.

It's very important to let the person being harassed know that you are aware of their situation, don't agree with what others are doing and saying, and you are there for them. It's not that hard and that one kindness can make a huge difference to a person in this situation.

Let the harasser know that you don't agree with them and think that what they are doing is inappropriate, possibly illegal, and that you are supporting the person being harassed.

Yes, it is possible, even likely, that you will then become a target, but if a lot of people are standing by the people being harassed it becomes extremely difficult for the people harassing to maintain their campaign.

By doing this you will help someone out and contribute to preventing people from becoming shooters.

Turning a blind eye to the problem is the same as tacit agreement and you, by your silence, shoulder as much responsibility as those who instigate this type of behavior.

Be socially responsible and participate in the solution to the problem, not the creation of the problem.

My two cents worth.

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